Slider was hallucinating, that had to be what was happening, because fish don’t talk especially once they are out of the water. Yet big-mouthed-bass over on the dock was now YELLING at him to get out of the state, leave the town for the summer. “Obviously louder is not working, and I already attempted to speak more clearly without a tongue or lips. Now I am just going to have to hit you over the head with my tail and telepathically channel this horrific image of you. Covered in blood. Dead. DO NOT STAY HERE.”
Eyes wide, mouth gaping, Slider the cat was tripping over the impossibility of the fish he had just caught uttering anything, much less threats about his impending death if he didn’t get out of Dodge. Or rather, Raleigh, pronto. He could feel the fur on the back of his neck sticking straight out. Definitely an electric charge in the air; a change like right before a big summer storm. The wind had picked up, blowing his favorite catnip mouse over the side of the dock. Leaning forward, he could see it resting on the bottom among the lily-pad tendrils and green slime. “Don’t get caught” floated up from the deep, bubbles surfacing right in front of him… Slider scrambled backwards and fell off the dock, tail-first into the cold water!
The catnip mouse had spoken! What the heck was happening?
He could hear it still, shouting now alongside the angry fish, a chorus of warnings about leaving on the next bus out of town. Furiously kitty-paddling, whiskers twitching, Sliders mind marshalled on: Get yourself out of this here dream, or whatever wild trip you are on. It is officially time to wake up! Three more feet and aha! Carefully parting the cattails to avoid snakes, he peered into the swampy rim. The water moccasin was the last thing he needed right now – it’s bite was bad enough to send a grown tiger to Urgent Care! If he was anywhere near a vet this afternoon, his very real fear was that they would commit him to a psyche ward. The vet would need only one look at him to confidently announce: “Crazy. Certifiable. Lock him up him nurse Ursula.”
Maybe there was something to the whole “too much of a good thing” regarding catnip? Time to lay off the all-organic, concentrated variety!
Slider found a sunny spot and curled up for a cat-nap. Rest assured, he was going to sleep this off, or at the least wake up from this bizarre dream he was currently in…
References:
Nepetalactone is the active ingredient in catnip.
Meowi Wowwi, Kitty Hooch, Dr. Gonzo’s Naughty Salad, Freaky Feline and Chronic Cat Nip are just a few of the high-potency types of catnip.
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